4 months on

Elanor made her first flip and back yesterday and she was not shy to show her joy at acquiring the new skill. I hope that with this new position, she would be "entertained" for a longer time with the "new view" rather than the usual "ceiling view". So far, she has refused to be left alone for long stretches of time and would cry for attention every now and then. Hence, it has been difficult to get much things done during the day time even when Eliza is in childcare.

I could remember when the nanny left in Feb. The next 2 months were a mad time. Lack of sleep, establishing the milk supply, settling Eliza and baby in the morning, bringing Eliza to school with baby in tow, getting the food ready when Iain returned (even though we had tingkat) and the night feeds. ... It was really crazy and I wondered how I survived. Well, I wouldn't say it was a breeze and there were lots of tears and yelling. Both Eliza and mummy for the most of the time. MIL came every now and then but somehow her help didn't add up and it stressed me further...Sadly I couldn't ask her to stop coming...Long story....

Iain was busy and tired as usual. Hence, I was very thankful that my mum came to help me from end Mar onwards. I felt glad and relieved but yet "guilty" too that I had to rely on her again as she is getting old.

Now that Elanor is 4 months plus, I've been making plans to "wean" myself off the help from my mum and MIL. It's tiring but possible.Of course with the extra help from my mum now, I am trying to rest up more and do other things in the home as well.At the same time, I try to spend more precious time chatting with my mum which would have been difficult if she wasn't at my place 3 days a week.

Most importantly, I must learn to enjoy this period as I watch the girls grow up at home and take one day at a time.